Monday, April 25, 2016

Creative Burn Out


It's time to talk about the dark side of the creative mind. The agony, frustration, and self doubt that come with the dreaded Creative Burnout. Maybe it's stress interfering with my creative mindset. I keep pushing myself and keep trying but maybe that's part of the problem. I've been trying to go back and revisit photos I've taken recently to see if there's anything I like. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when I didn't have a clue what I was doing. The time before I could pick apart my work finding only mistakes. To a time when I liked almost everything I created because I made it. Education is a powerful thing but sometimes I do feel it can limit creativity. I confess, I'm not quite sure how to beat this newest demon of self doubt and being overly self critical. As always I'll keep at it but I have a feeling the next few months are going to be rough.

Here are a few images taken a couple weeks ago. I've been studying the works of Ansel Adams lately. He had an amazing skill for exploring and capturing the world around him. All his images have a range of values from dark to light so I've really been trying to work on this in my own images.





And to end, a few edits of the falls at Devil's Hopyard. Didn't realize it was opening day for finishing when I went so I had to spend some time photoshoping fishermen out of the photos.


Monday, April 11, 2016

In Memoriam: The Story of Corrie






I met Corrie when she was only a few weeks old.We got her from a gay couple who bred and showed Yorkies. I liked them immensely the first time I met them. A lot of breeders see their dogs as money machines, but not these two. You could tell they loved each and every dog, and their dogs were part of their family. Their walls were adorned with photo after photo of their dogs. Their basement was full of albums of their "kids". They remembered the name and history of every pup they'd sold.

What I admired the most about them however, was their selection process. They wanted to not only make sure we were the right fit but they also wanted to make the transition less stressful on the puppies. Once a week my parents and I had to drive half way across the state so we could visit Corrie (who was only a couple weeks old) and spend time with her. This way she would be use to us.Each time my mom had to bring a T-shirt that would be tucked in with Corrie every night so she could become familiar with our scent. I remember the very first time I met her she was so shy she crawled behind the fish tank and wouldn't come out. She was so tiny back then that she could sit easily in my hand.
Corrie could have been a show dog. She had a very prestigious pedigree. Her grandfather had won best of show in numerous dog shows and was even in books! But none of that was important to us, we just wanted a spirited dog to become part of our family. Corrie was fiercely independent, curious, shy, silly, and loving. And these are the things I remember most about her:


She had a whole side of the couch to herself but she had to sit next to me  : ) 

*Often I'd lie on the floor on my side and she'd sit beside me so I could rub her head. My favorite thing would be when she would rest her head against me as I rubbed behind her ears, and she'd sigh contently.

*She loved to play! Especially when you were busy trying to do something else, lol. Often when I washed the dishes she would try everything to get attention. Often she would drag her basket of toys out into the living room and then dump them all out on the floor. Or she'd stick her head all the way in and try to pull out a specific toy that was at the bottom.

*She was independent but still loved being with her family. Though her breed is called a "lap dog" she didn't really like to sit right in your lap but she always wanted to be near you. At night my mom would sit in the living room and I'd be in my room. Often she couldn't decided who to be with. Some nights she would stay with mom for a while then come see me. But sometimes she'd just lay in the hallway, that way she could keep an eye on both of us.

She was so cute in her sleep!
*At night my mom would always give her a cookie at 9pm. Corrie would get so excited she'd bounce from paw to paw in anticipation. I aptely named this the Cookie Dance as this was the only time she'd do it. It made us laugh everytime. When she was younger she'd put herself to bed at night. Usually around 10pm she'd get off the couch and walk over to her crate where she would wait for someone to open the door. If you didn't get their quick enough she'd come and find you and just stare at you until you did it. It was so funny!

Coming over for a visit
*When I moved out she'd often come to visit on my days off. A few times I even packed her little suitcase so she could spend the night. These were some of my favorite moments, just the two of us.


*I'm torn up inside without her. To have someone in your life for 16 years and then be gone leaves a hole that can't be filled. But I know she lived a good long life. I also know we were lucky to get these past few years. When she was about 9 she got posinoned (to this day we still have no idea how, I think she got into something on one of her walks). For a few days she was hanging on to life, death inches away. We really thought it would be the end. Somehow she pulled through and we got to have many more years without her.


*I'll leave you with this last story. It's one of my favorites. A few years ago I had set up a scene (some teddies in a suitcase) to photograph. I really just wanted to test my lights. Now in the back of my head I thought it would be super cute to have Corrie in the scene. But I also knew there was no chance in that happening as she HATED having her picture taken. So I went about my business just photographing the scene, messing with my lights. The next thing I know she marches right onto the set, pushes all the teddies out of the suitcase, and plops herself  in the suitcase and strikes the cutest pose imaginable. Luckily I was able to stop laughing long enough to take a picture!


She was an amazing animal. Smart, funny, shy, curious, trusting, and loving. Working at a vet's office a few years ago made me realize even more how lucky we were to have her. I miss her every single day. She brought so much love in laughter to our lives. She may have not been loved widely but she was loved greatly.